Working through Deuteronomy 6, Ephesians 6 and First Peter's household codes for my sermon tomorrow leads me to a fascinating question for fathers whose families worship in the mainline churches: What are we to do with the seeming discrepancy between the Bible's teachings on the duty of fathers to teach their children and lead them in the ways of God and the message that we receive from our denominations, that patriarchy is dead? Where does the Biblical teaching on the importance of fatherly teaching and leadership in the home come in to play in our churches?
Talk about a can of worms discussing this in the mainline church!
I was trained very thoroughly in seminary that men and women were totally equal in stature before God. This is absolutely correct. But the problem occurred when I was also taught that men and women no longer had distinctive roles in the home. To do this, we had to ignore some important passages in the teachings of Scripture:
“When your son asks you in time to come, ‘What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the Lord our God has commanded you?’ then you shall say to your son, ‘We were Pharaoh's slaves in Egypt. And the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. And the Lord showed signs and wonders, great and grievous, against Egypt and against Pharaoh and all his household, before our eyes. And he brought us out from there, that he might bring us in and give us the land that he swore to give to our fathers. And the Lord commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the Lord our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as we are this day. And it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to do all this commandment before the Lord our God, as he has commanded us.’
Deuteronomy 6:19-25
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:1-7
It seems to me that the greater burden for the instruction of children lies on the fathers. I don't see how we can just ditch the range of texts that teach the prime importance that God places on fathers as the head of the household to lead the family in the worship and instruction of the ways of Jesus Christ:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 5:22-32
So, what are we to do with the evidence? There are so many more texts that could be brought to bear on this. We have a consistent witness, from Old Testament to New.
And yet, so many men in the mainline churches have checked out. They have taken a back seat in their religious life in the home, the workplace and the church. Thank God for the godly women who have stepped up to do the teaching, the going to worship and the work of the church!
But without the fathers leading their family, our churches will always be weaker and less effective in our God-given purpose of being salt and light in a fallen world. Our families have accommodated and assimilated all too often. And in our denominations, we have aided and abetted the process.
We took out the Biblical image of God as Father. We neutered the hymns, the language of prayer and we created an environment where husbands and fathers were not encouraged to take up the joyful duties that God has graciously given them.
And we wonder why we fail.
So, men of God, let us rise up and build in our families and our congregations a climate where men are called to be the gracious and bold leaders that God designed them to be. Let us call husbands and fathers to be even more eager to lead their families to church and home prayer as they are to get home to watch the game or see their favorite sitcom.
Men of the church: let us give our lives for our families and the church as Christ loved us, by giving up our lives in the pursuit of faithfulness in our lives as disciples of Jesus.